10/16/2007 12:35 PM

To , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , cc Subject Some Thoughts by MEN - No offences intended!!!

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the
compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the
presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life
insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years
of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners
wondering too.

Thought 3

A man was walking down a street when he
heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on
your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of
him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to
cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take
one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was
instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing
him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice
answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"

Thought 4 - This is the best!!!

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was
watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give
away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride
kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was
wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the
suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say
something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of
my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and
continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The
whole audience including priest started laughing.... but not the poor
groom!